it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish
i’ve never read something so accurate
Freddy The Fox by: [Rob Lee]Photographers note: "This brave fox wandered up on our porch. He's half cat, half dog, and all cute. When the fox first came for a visit we instantly named it "Freddy the Fox." But after we got to know it we found out Freddy is actually Frederica."
(You can still call Frederica “Freddy”!)
#in which Bruce Banner finally finds somebody who isn’t afraid to kid around with him #because he has a sense of humour after all #’i’m sorry, that was mean’ anyone? #but everybody tiptoes around him because ‘oh shit, he’s a monster’ #but then he meets Tony #someone who’s not afraid to be around him #someone who might actually be a friend #and that means so much to him and permeates so deep that even when he’s the fucking Hulk he still wants to save Tony’s ass #because by not treating the Hulk like a monster, Tony stopped him from being one
#SCIENCE BRO FEELS
#because by not treating the Hulk like a monster, Tony stopped him from being one
why are there some lipsticks like $30 please calm down you glorified red crayon
a little girl in the grocery store just asked me if i was a princess because my dress was pretty and i said everyone’s a princess and she pointed to her dad and asked if he was a princess too and her dad said yep its true im a princess and she looked so happy idk it was adorable
keep fuckin walkin you postman piece of shit
DUCKS DO IT TOO
good news, everyone.
oh man. one time i was out with a group of friends, it was around 3 in the morning and we’d all just spilled out of this nightclub, all completely smashed, when one guy goes “OI DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT LIGHT JUST THEN??” and this fUCKING LASER DOT ZOOMS PAST US ON THE GROUND AND WE’RE ALL LIKE YOOOOO DAFUQ IS DIS??? I SWEAR TO GOD WE SPENT NEARLY TEN MINUTES CHASING THIS FUCKING THING AROUND THE STREET BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT THERE WAS SOME ASSHOLE LIKE 10 STORIES UP IN THE APARTMENT BEHIND US PISSING HIMSELF.
so yeah. cats, ducks and drunk college students. fucking idiots the lot of them.
That is the best story I have ever heard.